Little Luffy
by Lawless Kiss
Summary: Crack based on the jokes of Little Johnny featuring the Strawhat gang and many other characters!
1. Think before doing

**Warning : These jokes are not meant to be offensive. **

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><p><strong>Little Luffy<strong>

Chapter 1

_Think before doing_

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><p>Little Luffy wanted to have sex with Nami in his office, but she was involved with someone else. One day Little Luffy got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a 1000 belis if you will have sex with me."<p>

But Nami said no.

Little Luffy said, "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

Nami thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend. So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said ask him for 2000 belis, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down.

So she agreed and accepted the proposal.

Half an hour went by and the boyfriend waited and waited for his Nami to call.

Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened...

Nami said "The bastard used coins!"

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><p>Disclaimer : I own nothing what so ever. The idea for this came from my friend and I being board and surfing Apps of iTunes! :D These jokes are based on Little Johnny!<p>

To the readers of Messed Up Life, I have the second chapter already but I have about 20 versions of it. I'm currently trying to spread the plot out and organize it so it won't be confusing. It's complicated right now, so please wait. I know it's late and this is why I am doing these little crack jokes so you all have something. I will not abandoned my story! Promise! Plus, I have million of other stories running through my mind at the moment!

Remember, read and review!

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	2. Politics

**Warning: These jokes mean no offense. They are just jokes.**

**Little Luffy**

Chapter 2

_The way of politics_

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><p>Little Luffy came home from school one day and said to his father, "Dad, what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."<p>

The father thought some and said, "Okay, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm capitalism because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"

Little Luffy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Luffy was woken up by his brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid.

Because he couldn't do anything else, he turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."

"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"

Little Luffy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, while the government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of shit."

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><p>Disclaimer : I own nothing what so ever. The idea for this came from my friend and I being board and surfing Apps of iTunes! :D These jokes are based on Little Johnny!<p>

Remember, read and review!

You know you want to share the love!

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><p><em>Click<em>

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	3. Similes & Morals

**Warning: These jokes mean no offense. They are just jokes.**

**Oh my! I'm so glad you all like these jokes! I love Little Johnny jokes a whole bunch myself. Also, Luffy age is ranged between 5-10 years old!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Little Luffy<strong>

Chapter 3

_Similes_

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><p>On a nice Monday afternoon, little Luffy and his crew was learning about similes.<p>

Shanks said, " Today we will learn about similes, a simile is when you compare 2 unlike things with "like" or "as", but to start can someone compare 2 unlike things without "like" or "as"?"

Chopper raises his hand and says, "Candy and Cake! Because they are both sweet and yummy."

Shanks says, "Good!"

Nami raises her hand and says "Coins and oranges! Because they are both round and if you trade them with other people you get more money for both!"

Sweat dropping, Shanks says, "Very good! Anyone else want to try?"

Little Luffy thinks for a second and says "Bungee jumping and hookers! They both cost to much and if the rubber breaks, Your screwed!"

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><p><em>Morals<em>

On a ship of full of children, Makino says to the kids, "Today, guys, we will be telling stories that have a moral to them." He explained what a moral to a story was and asked for volunteers.

Little Nami raises her hand and says: "I live on a farm and we have a chicken that laid 12 eggs, we were excited to have 12 more chickens but only 6 of them hatched"

Makino : "That's a good story, now what is the moral?"

Nami: " Don't count your chickens before they are hatched"

Makino: "Very good Nami, anyone else?"

Ussop : "Yes teacher, I was carrying some eggs I bought for my mom in my bicycle basket one day and I crashed my bike and all the eggs broke"

Makino : "That's a nice story, what is the moral?"

Ussop: "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Makino: " Very good Ussop, anyone else?"

Little Luffy was the only one with his hand up, so reluctantly, Makino finally called on him.

Little Luffy: "Ya teacher, my Uncle Shanks is a pirate and when he was in Skypeia , he parachuted down to the grandline with only a gun, 20 bullets, a knife, and six-bottles of rum. On his way down, he drank the six bottles. When he landed, he killed 20 seakings with his sword and shot ten of them with his gun."

Makino: "Very interesting Luffy, what is the moral to your story?"

Little Luffy: "Don't fuck with Uncle Shanks when he's drunk"

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><p>Disclaimer : I own nothing what so ever. The idea for this came from my friend and I being board and surfing Apps of iTunes! :D These jokes are based on Little Johnny!<p>

Remember, read and review!

You know you want to share the love!

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><p><em>Click<em>

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	4. Sleeping Cat Issue

**Warning: These jokes mean no offense. They are just jokes.**

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><p><strong>Little Luffy<strong>

Chapter 4

_Sleeping during class_

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><p>Little Zoro was not the best student in Sunday school.<br>Usually he slept through the class.

One day Chopper called on him while he was napping, "Tell me, Zoro, who created the universe?"

When Zoro didn't stir, little Luffy, a boy seated in the chair behind him, took a pin and jabbed him in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted Zoro and Chopper said, "Very good" and Zoro fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Zoro, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, Zoro didn't even stir from his slumber. Once again, Luffy came to the rescue and stuck him again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted Zoro and Chopper said, "very good," and Zoro fell back to sleep.

Then Chopper asked Zoro a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Luffy jabbed him with the pin. This time Zoro jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!"

Chopper fainted.

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><p><em>Sanji's issue<em>

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><p>Little Sanji comes home from school with a note from Ussop, indicating that "Sanji seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls. Could you please sit down and have a talk with Sanji about this."<p>

So Little Sanji's guardian takes him by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

"First, Sanji, I want you to take off my blouse..."

So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

"Take off my skirt..."

Little Sanji takes off her skirt.

"Take off my bra."

He takes off her bra.

"Now, Sanji, please take off my panties."

When Little Sanji is finally done taking off the clothes, she says, "Sanji, Please don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"

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><p><em>Cat is out of the bag<em>

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><p>Little Luffy sees father car passing the playground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees his father and his aunt "hugging" in the parked vehicle.<p>

Luffy finds this very exciting and can barely contain himself so he runs home and starts to tell his mother,

"I was at the playground and I saw daddy's car go into the woods with aunt Benny. I went to look for them and I saw daddy giving aunt Benny a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then aunt Benny helped daddy take his pants off, then aunt Benny lay down on the seat, then daddy..."

At this point, Luffy's mother cut him off and said, "Luffy, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Luffy's mother asks him to tell his story, so Luffy starts to talk, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and...

"...then daddy and aunt Benny did that same thing mommy and uncle Mick used to do when daddy was in the army."

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><p>Disclaimer : I own nothing what so ever. The idea for this came from my friend and I being board and surfing Apps of iTunes! :D These jokes are based on Little Johnny!<p>

Remember, read and review!

You know you want to share the love!

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><p><em>Hits : 221  Reviews : 4_

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	5. Smart Asses get around

**Warning: These jokes are not to offend people. If they do, then why read?**

**First joke edited by my friend, Mike! :D**

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><p><strong>Little Luffy<strong>

Chapter 5

_Toothbrush_

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><p>The Strawhat crew filed back onto the ship Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend adventure was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship since Nami thought they all needed a taste in how to earn money thanks to Luffy always using their money on either parties or meat.<p>

Sanji led off: "I sold cookies and I made 30 belis," he said proudly with hearts springing to life in his eyes when seeing Nami. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said Nami.

Brook was next: "I sold radios," he said, "I made 300 belis and I explained to everyone that radios would keep them entertained on those lonely nights out on sea. It makes my eyes fill with tears knowing I helped those in need. Though, since I'm dead I have no eyes! Yohohoho! Skull joke!" He laughed that famous laugh of his as he spun with glee, and with one last phase he found himself face to the ground after a critical hit from the ship's navigator.

"Very good, Brook," grumbled Nami.

Eventually, it was Ussop's turn. Nami held his breath.

Ussop walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash in front of Nami. "2,467 belis," he said.

"2,467 belis!" cried Nami, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Ussop.

"Toothbrushes," echoed Nami, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Ussop, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like shit!"

Then I would say, "It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

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><p><em>Ugly<em>

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><p>Teach : Ace, stop making ugly faces at the other crew members.<p>

Ace : Why?

Teach : Because when I was your age, I was told if I make ugly faces it will stay that way.

Ace : Well, I can see you didn't listen.

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><p><em>Win, Win Situation<em>

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><p>Little Luffy is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Luffy his choice between a nickel and a dime - Little Luffy always takes the nickel.<p>

One day, after Luffy takes the nickel, Shanks takes him aside and says, "Luffy, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?"

Luffy grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

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><p><em>Always be <em>_pacific_

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><p>Little Luffy's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Luffy's family to come over and see their new baby.<p>

Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Shanks had a long talk with Little Luffy before going to the neighbors.

He said, "Now, Luffy...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home."

"I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Luffy.

At the neighbor's home, Little Luffy leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!"

The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Luffy."

He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?"

The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision."

Little Luffy said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"

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><p><em>Owned<em>

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><p>One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.<p>

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer.

Frustrated, little Ace decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend. So Thursday night, Ace takes 200 Ping-Pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the Ping-Pong balls rolling to the front of the room. The teacher shouts, "Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"

Immediately, little Ace stands up and yells, "Bill Cosby! See ya on Tuesday!"

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><p>AN : I have noticed I suck at dialect! It's quite sad I have to conclude..I can write paragraphs with description, but when it comes to conversations they come out bleh. I can see the conversation going through my head but at times I'm at a lost! I find it sad I say, sad! Well that is my little rant~

Disclaimer : I own nothing what so ever. The idea for this came from my friend and I being board and surfing Apps of iTunes! :D These jokes are based on Little Johnny!

Remember, read and review!

You know you want to share the love!

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